I am saying correctly. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but the thoughts that comes after it could kill you. When the sorrowful situation or even the bully come to hurt you, you will feel depressed of course. That is simply understandable. However, the problem comes when mind turns to play the important roles here. You start to figure out the reason why these bad people and situations come to you? You keep asking why, why and why. Something they just come and go but you need the reason why so that you can eliminate the causes. You could come up with so many reasons on your list “as many as possible” The desire to attack the problem is problem itself. Sounds paradox, doesn’t it?
There are two types of reasons you could come up. The reason that blames toward others. They are bad because his family doesn’t raise him well. It is the God’s plan. It is the influence of the star and whatever you can blame on. People who comes up with these kinds of reason will not end their suffering. No way because they don’t learn to take the responsibility toward their own needs and feeling inside. They try to control everything that make them suffered. EVERYTHING that they want to control, and that will drive him much more crazy and stressful.
The second type of reason is the reason that blames toward himself. Sounds better but actually it is egocentric like the first group of people. People with this reason will say “yes, I am wrong. I am always wrong. Why should i live. I am useless. i am the bad person who should not be born and waste anyone’s time”. To be honest, they try to solve the problem by investing in their suffering so that people will feel sorry, become interested in you, and help you solve any problems you currently have. That is absurd. These people will end up with throwing responsible to others to solve your problems.
Could you see the paradox of this situation when you go on overthinking. If you blames others as the cause of problem, they must go away from you. If you blames yourself as the cause of problem, they must come to you. Unfortunately, both situations will turn you dependent on others. That is when your overthinking become the jail of your life! not the situations or people themselves.
Therefore, whatever happen to you, see it as it is . Watch it. When you feel bad because of it, just watch your feeling and your need behind that feeling. Do not try to figure out the reason why they happens.