How to communicate with people peacefully?

Your teeth always touch your tongue,

so are you and people around you.

There will be many interests and attitudes

that people don’t agree with each other.

We would like to live with them peacefully.

If there is any problem,

we can talk directly.

That’s why you should communicate peacefully.

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First, observe. 

Explain things specifically as they are.

Be moderate

like the video recording the situations.

You are not allowed to judge or interpret them.

Guess, if you slap my face,

I judge you are so merciless.

You will be more angry on me and my judgement

even if I don’t know you well.

To be observer is to bring people understand each other more completely.

To be judge is to enforce people understand only in your own way.

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When you know the situation concretely, 

realize your and people’s feelings 

as the physically and mentally experiences

from being responded or ignored.

Cold, hot, hungry,

tired, afraid, angry,

happy, sad, worried

or excited.

Only you have to be responsible to your own feeling.


That is maturity.

The actions or words from others

“are not the cause of feelings”

They might stimulate feelings

but the real cause is the desire

which has been either responded or ignored.

Do not throw the guilty to others by judging them.

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Figure what you or people’s needs in the abstract way

after observing situation and identifying feelings.

Those needs must not the order

to let someone do something for you.

Don’t be obsess in your own ideas

since others may not agree to follow.

Figure needs generally

so that people can suggest their better ways to fulfil your needs.

You may need happiness, convenience,

freedom, peace, safety

or even compassion

so many way to achieve them with your and people’s ideas.

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Last is to ask not give the order.

It is just your suggestion to response needs to others.

They may response to your suggestions

(depended on how close you are.)

If they reject your suggestion,

we can still continue the conversation nicely

and find the ways that all agree

by asking them why they refuse your suggestion.

That is when you should turn to understand them first

before your needs will be responded.

If you give them order,

they may follow it reluctantly with fear on punishment.

Dealing with people is challenging.

If one is self-centred and only follow his own mind,

home, community, society and the world

are not the nice place to live.


If you have been open-minded,

you can understand people even yourself

and find the win-win situations together.

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